Fear

scary doll

Dear D,

I love horror and murder films and watch them a lot, but do you think by watching such films I will become mentally unstable and kill someone?

Wishes K

 

Dear K,

This is the weirdest question I’ve had for a good while. In answer to your question, I doubt you’ll become a serial killer by watching such films – the world would be packed with them otherwise, as many people also enjoy these films and shows. However (and there is always a however seemingly), if you think for one moment you have any tendencies to act this way – see your GP who can refer you to mental health. But most people can watch films with no problems, as they are able to tell themselves it’s acting, tomato sauce, and make-up.

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My husband

Dear D,

I love my husband of seven-years dearly. We have two children and have a nice house and lifestyle. In fact we are an ideal family. However, when it comes to our sex life, it’s a failure. While he orgasms every time we have sex, I have never had an orgasm with him. I want our marriage to continue to be strong, but want to feel fulfilled sexually as well.

Jemma

 

Dear Jemma,

We have had several contacts with similar lines. I think the only way to save your marriage is by sitting down and talking. One evening when the kids are in bed bring up the subject by saying something like: “Honey, you know I love you more than life itself? I’d do anything for you, you know that. But I am unhappy with our sex life”. Then go on to explain what you’d like, and give him the opportunity to tell you if you can do things to improve it. Perhaps you could consider buying a ‘The Lover’s Guide’, and watching it together. Men in particular don’t like being told they’re no good at sex, so chose your words carefully when telling him to avoid a BIG crack opening in your relationship. You’re right in saying sex is only part of a solid relationship, a relationship is far more than just sex – it involves being there, supporting, caring, supplying and much more.

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Is it possible…

Dear D,

is it possible to love your brother but also hate him? My brother is a proper wind up merchant, and I really dislike him at times. Is it possible to love and hate the same person?

John

 

Dear John,

I believe it is possible to dislike and love the same person. You love them because they are family or have been a good friend, but you dislike certain things they do or the way they treat people. Love and hate are supposedly on opposite sides of the spectrum of emotion’s, and yet they work together subtly enough to give us worries about our own feelings. So, yes you can love your brother, because he is your sibling. Yet disliking him for the things he does.

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Feeling useless

Dear D,

I have just seen the dreadful fire in the tower block in London, and it has really hit me, mainly because it I guess because I have relations living near there. However, I am feeling useless, and feel like I want to do something to help, but how can I ? I live eighty miles away and work full time, is there any other way I can help?

Jamie

 

Dear Jamie,

Many people are in your situation, and most people want to help in some way. Well luckily there are ways in which you can help, I too have family living nearby so understand your concern. Firstly you can check out locally if you area has any collections of clothing, food, toiletries etc. Secondly, there are several online appeals where you can donate money via a just giving pageor maybe the Kensington and Chelsea foundation website. Thirdly, Simon Cowell is creating a single in aid of the Grenfell Tower fire victims, you can buy that when it is released. So even from the distance you are, you can help. It is warming to see how the whole of the UK have rallied together to help the victims. So don’t feel as if your not doing your bit, you are just donate whatever you can – time, money, clothing, or anything.

Ask D

 

Pregnant

pregnant

 

Dear D,

I have just discovered I’m pregnant, and I’m scared of telling my boyfriend in case he leaves me. We are both eighteen and really are not ready for settling down just yet. I don’t believe in abortions either – what can I do?

Love Sandra

 

Dear Sandra

I am unable to see a question here really, you don’t believe in abortions and yet you’re too young to settle down? You HAVE to do one of the two. I’m sorry but in this day and age there is hardly any excuse for unwanted pregnancies – birth control has never been so easy or accessible. However, you are now pregnant and you have to get your head around it, discuss it with your boyfriend and family, this is your first and most vital step. Once it has sunk in, and reactions have been revealed – then and only then can you make any further decisions. You can contact Worth talking about, Brook, or the Samaritans to help you further.

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Generous

hand

 

Dear D,

I have a friend, whom I love dearly – as a friend. But he is too generous. Whenever we go out, he wants to pay (and does without my knowing most of the time). He treats me so kind on birthdays and Christmas that I feel my gifts to him are inadequate. I do enjoy the attention but wonder if he is getting his hopes up, thinking there is more than friendship between us? I don’t want to lose him as a friend, am I reading too much into it.

Best wishes

Tom

 

Dear Tom,

Firstly do you actually know whether this man fancies you? Has he made it clear? Or is he just being friendly. I can understand that someone treating yo like a prince, might seem as if they’re wanting ‘that bit more’, but normally, it is within their personalities to be generous. You should sit him down and ask him straight.

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My sisters husband

sorry

Dear D,

My sister got married a few weeks ago, but before her and her now husband got hitched they went through a ‘bad’ patch in their relationship. I’m happily single – or so I thought. Anyway, three weeks before her wedding I slept with her man. We agreed at the time it was a ‘one – off’ , but he keeps texting me now – saying how great the sex was, and he wants to hook up again. I agree the sex was great, and I am so tempted by meeting up again, but am scared about losing my sister and family. What should I do?

Mary

 

Dear Mary,

I’d suggest you either go to a sex shop and buy a sexual relief product or go out and get a man of your own. You’re right in thinking that you will not only lose your sister, but your whole family too. Is it really worth a quick fumble? How could you have even contemplated going for seconds or thirds? You need to walk away from this situation now, keep your distance from your brother in law, ignore any texts he says you – it will only lead to disaster.

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