I feel guilty…

guiltyDear D,

I have a funny situation, I constantly feel guilty. If I bump into someone I feel guilty, If someone pushes in front of me in a queue I feel guilty, whatever the situation if I can I do feel guilty. Am I abnormal?

Cheers Em

 

Dear Em

You’re not abnormal, just a average person making mountains out of molehills. It seems to me that instead of thinking rationally about a situation you seem to be jumping in and going straight to ‘guilty mode’. You see most of us feel a ‘bit guilty’ in those situations, but we compartmentalise it and generally forget it. What you seem to be doing is taking that insignificant action, and making it larger than what it is. What you should try to do, is instead of instantly feeling like you have done something wrong, stop, think, evaluate the situation. then if you have a genuine reason to feel guilty, then fine. But it is always wise to STOP and THINK before taking any action or thought.

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Bullying

bully

Dear D,

My friend at school was bullied and ended up killing herself. Jo was fifteen before those scum made he take her life. I’m now seventeen and living in the same town, where most of them live. I see them occasionally and all the healing about Jo recedes and stays with me for days. I don’t think I can ever forgive them or get over this. Can you help?

Thank-you

Leanne

 

Dear Leanne,

I am so sorry for the grief you feel, the raw emotion of seeing the people you blame will remain with you for many years to come, departing possibly never. You don’t say whether you are at college or school or at work. However I feel you need to see a counsellor. Schools and colleges generally have one, and if not then I’d go and see your GP (and I would recommend the latter to be honest). It may be that all you need is a ‘shoulder to cry on’ as to speak, and let out all those emotions.

I can fully understand how you feel about the people you blame, but I wonder if they have the feelings that you do. If you are friendly at all with any of the group, you could try speaking to them and getting your anger out that way. I would advise being calm though, shouting will only anger them, and cause you more upset.

Please do see your GP and chat to them, they’ll be able to steer you in the right direction for your area.

You may also be interested I our previous post here

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I’m dying…

worried

Dear D,

I’ve just been told I have six months to live. I’m so depressed, but keep smiling for the rest of my family. To make things worse my daughter told me a few weeks ago she was pregnant with my first grandchild. I do not know what to do, every time I am alone I cry.

Love Joni

Dear Joni

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, and it’s very brave of you to keep smiling. However, you really do need to concentrate on the rest of your life, and what you want to do before you pass. Your last six months is all about you. Go on some breaks, visit friends, do what you wish while you can. I know a friend who was in this situation recently – she didn’t do anything, other than every day mundane things. She died sooner than expected. I can not stress enough how important it is for you to make the most of and enjoy your remaining time. It’d also be prudent to sort out finances, housing, work etc too. I sincerely hope your last months on earth are good, and happy. If you are struggling too much to even think of this, see your doctor who can refer you on for counselling, although you should do this sooner rather than later.

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Is it possible…

Dear D,

is it possible to love your brother but also hate him? My brother is a proper wind up merchant, and I really dislike him at times. Is it possible to love and hate the same person?

John

 

Dear John,

I believe it is possible to dislike and love the same person. You love them because they are family or have been a good friend, but you dislike certain things they do or the way they treat people. Love and hate are supposedly on opposite sides of the spectrum of emotion’s, and yet they work together subtly enough to give us worries about our own feelings. So, yes you can love your brother, because he is your sibling. Yet disliking him for the things he does.

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Pregnant

pregnant

 

Dear D,

I have just discovered I’m pregnant, and I’m scared of telling my boyfriend in case he leaves me. We are both eighteen and really are not ready for settling down just yet. I don’t believe in abortions either – what can I do?

Love Sandra

 

Dear Sandra

I am unable to see a question here really, you don’t believe in abortions and yet you’re too young to settle down? You HAVE to do one of the two. I’m sorry but in this day and age there is hardly any excuse for unwanted pregnancies – birth control has never been so easy or accessible. However, you are now pregnant and you have to get your head around it, discuss it with your boyfriend and family, this is your first and most vital step. Once it has sunk in, and reactions have been revealed – then and only then can you make any further decisions. You can contact Worth talking about, Brook, or the Samaritans to help you further.

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Bullying

bully

Dear D,

I am a my wits end, my son is fourteen and has been bullied at school for several years. I’ve spoken to the school, but nothing has been done about it. Where do I go from here?

Jennifer

 

Dear Jennifer,

As victims of bullying I can fully sympathise. After contacting the school and apparently failing, you should next try the school board of governors, followed by the county council education authority. For more help contact one of the following:

If you are being bullied, please do contact one of the organisations above – do not suffer in silence.

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Argument

whose right

 

Dear D,

My wife is seriously doing my nut in, all because of the TV. I want to watch sport and the odd film, but all she does is complain and moan that she never gets to watch what she wants. It’s got to boiling point now, and separation my be imminent.

Jake

 

Dear Jake,

Do you realise how daft this sounds? You married your wife because you loved her, you wanted to be with her, and possibly have children together. Let’s sit and think about this. You want sport, she wants soaps. So you either get another TV and put it in a different room, so you can both watch what you want when you want. Otherwise, get to agree on ‘your time and her time’ and family/together time. Its not rocket science to get  recorder and record things to watch later. But if I were you the best option would be to get TWO TV’s with TWO recorders, so you’ll both live happily ever after.

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