I’m dying…

worried

Dear D,

I’ve just been told I have six months to live. I’m so depressed, but keep smiling for the rest of my family. To make things worse my daughter told me a few weeks ago she was pregnant with my first grandchild. I do not know what to do, every time I am alone I cry.

Love Joni

Dear Joni

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, and it’s very brave of you to keep smiling. However, you really do need to concentrate on the rest of your life, and what you want to do before you pass. Your last six months is all about you. Go on some breaks, visit friends, do what you wish while you can. I know a friend who was in this situation recently – she didn’t do anything, other than every day mundane things. She died sooner than expected. I can not stress enough how important it is for you to make the most of and enjoy your remaining time. It’d also be prudent to sort out finances, housing, work etc too. I sincerely hope your last months on earth are good, and happy. If you are struggling too much to even think of this, see your doctor who can refer you on for counselling, although you should do this sooner rather than later.

Ask D

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Is it possible…

Dear D,

is it possible to love your brother but also hate him? My brother is a proper wind up merchant, and I really dislike him at times. Is it possible to love and hate the same person?

John

 

Dear John,

I believe it is possible to dislike and love the same person. You love them because they are family or have been a good friend, but you dislike certain things they do or the way they treat people. Love and hate are supposedly on opposite sides of the spectrum of emotion’s, and yet they work together subtly enough to give us worries about our own feelings. So, yes you can love your brother, because he is your sibling. Yet disliking him for the things he does.

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Pregnant

pregnant

 

Dear D,

I have just discovered I’m pregnant, and I’m scared of telling my boyfriend in case he leaves me. We are both eighteen and really are not ready for settling down just yet. I don’t believe in abortions either – what can I do?

Love Sandra

 

Dear Sandra

I am unable to see a question here really, you don’t believe in abortions and yet you’re too young to settle down? You HAVE to do one of the two. I’m sorry but in this day and age there is hardly any excuse for unwanted pregnancies – birth control has never been so easy or accessible. However, you are now pregnant and you have to get your head around it, discuss it with your boyfriend and family, this is your first and most vital step. Once it has sunk in, and reactions have been revealed – then and only then can you make any further decisions. You can contact Worth talking about, Brook, or the Samaritans to help you further.

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Bullying

bully

Dear D,

I am a my wits end, my son is fourteen and has been bullied at school for several years. I’ve spoken to the school, but nothing has been done about it. Where do I go from here?

Jennifer

 

Dear Jennifer,

As victims of bullying I can fully sympathise. After contacting the school and apparently failing, you should next try the school board of governors, followed by the county council education authority. For more help contact one of the following:

If you are being bullied, please do contact one of the organisations above – do not suffer in silence.

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Argument

whose right

 

Dear D,

My wife is seriously doing my nut in, all because of the TV. I want to watch sport and the odd film, but all she does is complain and moan that she never gets to watch what she wants. It’s got to boiling point now, and separation my be imminent.

Jake

 

Dear Jake,

Do you realise how daft this sounds? You married your wife because you loved her, you wanted to be with her, and possibly have children together. Let’s sit and think about this. You want sport, she wants soaps. So you either get another TV and put it in a different room, so you can both watch what you want when you want. Otherwise, get to agree on ‘your time and her time’ and family/together time. Its not rocket science to get  recorder and record things to watch later. But if I were you the best option would be to get TWO TV’s with TWO recorders, so you’ll both live happily ever after.

Ask D

Religious parents

prayer

 

Dear D,

I’m eighteen in a few months time, but my parents are driving me crazy! They are both very religious  and complain about my friends (they’re not the right sort), my job (p/t supermarket worker) That’s not a good job, my boyfriend (he doesn’t believe in God) and so on. I love them dearly, and they have never been abusive in a physical way. However, my independence is being ‘squashed’. Should I leave home when I’m eighteen, or should I stay?

Emma

 

Dear Emma,

We had a friend with a similar situation that you find yourself in. Their parents were very strict to the point of interference. She left her home before her eighteenth birthday, because she couldn’t stand it, so I do understand.

I think its important to remember they have your best intention (according to their world). But their world may not be the right one for you. It sounds like you’re sensible enough to make a good sound decision. But I would suggest you sit down with your parents and have a chat, about how you feel – they obviously love you and you ‘ve said you love them. Tell them exactly how you feel with a calm carefully planned, it could well be that they don’t realise how their religious beliefs are affecting you. bring into the conversation that you are so upset you are thinking about moving out in a few months time.

Ask D

 

My mother

childDear D,

I love my mother very much, but I also dislike her too if that is possible. She is a nasty, gossip who has cause much harm with my friends and our family. Her own sister calls her ‘nasty tongue’. My partner has just proposed to me, and wants me to tell my mum. I can’t for the following reasons; She doesn’t know I am gay, she constantly ran down gay people on TV when I was younger, She’ll want to interfere in the arrangements of the wedding. I think my late father would have understood, but she is a different kettle of fish.

Thanks Kev

 

Dear Kev,

Firstly I am glad you have found the right man and are in a happy place. It seems you have this one nagging problem that although you say you don’t want as part of your life, I suspect secretly you do. You only get one mother, and yes she might not be perfect, but you really do need to tell her that you are gay and getting married. It’ll be difficult, so why not take your husband to be and introduce him, she might well ‘calm down’ in his presence. I feel it is important to tell her yo love her, but can no longer deal with her sarcasm and nastiness, share that if she wants to be part of your life that she has to accept your partner.

You don’t say whether you have any siblings or close relatives who are on your side. If so maybe one of those (or more) could come alone with you and have a word, not that I suspect you’ll need it – but for moral support it’d help.

If al else fails life without parents goes on, as sad as it is. You are brought into this world to enjoy your time as best as you can, and it is important you realise that you stay happy. Eventually your mother will die, and you’ll have years to come with your new husband.

Ask D