Adult star



Dear D,

I dream of being a porn star, I’ve discussed it with some friends who think I’m bonkers. I love sex, so why not make money out of it. Is porn so wrong?



Dear Mike,

You don’t state your age, but I presume your old enough to make these sorts of choices and not a student who thinks they are. If the former is true, then you should really ignore what people say – it is your life, do what you want. However, I’d like to offer a few words. Your films will be there forever, online, in film, whichever way they are viewed. This means any future children, grandchildren etc will be able to view them, for years and years (possibly forever). Porn is viewed as a ‘disgusting’ activity, I don’t agree with this view completely. If the porn is created with people who are willing to be in the films – willing participants, and the porn is legal, then let adults do what they want. But think and consider your options very carefully, just because you love sex (and 99% of men are with you). It’s worth bearing in mind that some porn studio’s  often pay women porn stars a lot more than their male counterparts, according to what I’ve seen. In fact one studio gave the men $100 and the women $1000, so quite a big difference. If you are 100% sure you want to still be in this line of employment, then good luck.

Ask D


My husband

Dear D,

I love my husband of seven-years dearly. We have two children and have a nice house and lifestyle. In fact we are an ideal family. However, when it comes to our sex life, it’s a failure. While he orgasms every time we have sex, I have never had an orgasm with him. I want our marriage to continue to be strong, but want to feel fulfilled sexually as well.



Dear Jemma,

We have had several contacts with similar lines. I think the only way to save your marriage is by sitting down and talking. One evening when the kids are in bed bring up the subject by saying something like: “Honey, you know I love you more than life itself? I’d do anything for you, you know that. But I am unhappy with our sex life”. Then go on to explain what you’d like, and give him the opportunity to tell you if you can do things to improve it. Perhaps you could consider buying a ‘The Lover’s Guide’, and watching it together. Men in particular don’t like being told they’re no good at sex, so chose your words carefully when telling him to avoid a BIG crack opening in your relationship. You’re right in saying sex is only part of a solid relationship, a relationship is far more than just sex – it involves being there, supporting, caring, supplying and much more.

Ask D




Dear D,

I have just discovered I’m pregnant, and I’m scared of telling my boyfriend in case he leaves me. We are both eighteen and really are not ready for settling down just yet. I don’t believe in abortions either – what can I do?

Love Sandra


Dear Sandra

I am unable to see a question here really, you don’t believe in abortions and yet you’re too young to settle down? You HAVE to do one of the two. I’m sorry but in this day and age there is hardly any excuse for unwanted pregnancies – birth control has never been so easy or accessible. However, you are now pregnant and you have to get your head around it, discuss it with your boyfriend and family, this is your first and most vital step. Once it has sunk in, and reactions have been revealed – then and only then can you make any further decisions. You can contact Worth talking about, Brook, or the Samaritans to help you further.

Ask D




Dear D,

I’m addicted to porn, please help?



Dear Michael,

An addiction is a serious thing, whether its gambling, drugs, alcohol, porn or other. Its is very important to decide whether you have an addiction or just a strong liking. Whatever your addiction, you need to seek help straight away.  A strong liking might have you looking at porn or seeking to look at porn every chance you get. An addiction would have you going much further than that. Some people lose their jobs, their houses and their families. Some men who are porn addicted feel the urge so strong they’d commit a crime to gain access to it. get help by checking out this page.

Sex needs


I’m forty-five and my husband is ten years younger. However, my libido doesn’t match his. When we married our sexual needs were about the same, now they are worlds apart. I realise it is different for men, that is there main reason for living, as is the woman’s for nesting. But seriously I am worried something might be wrong with me, and more worried that he will look elsewhere? Please help.



Dear Jane,

You’re right in saying that men and women’s needs are different, and this includes sexual desire.  In the animal world men are known to do all sorts of things to attract females to mate, and in the human world (for the most) that is reflected. Humans mate for life (we know this isn’t always the case, but generally speaking), hence why throughout history men have married women and procreated to make the race go on. However, in modern times the dynamic has changed, women want more than their wildlife counterparts. Yes many still want to procreate and have children, but many want a career too. But this doesn’t answer your question, or help you – but it does explain a little of the background.

Women have internal issues to deal with also, as they approach their fifties (usual not always) they have a major body change as their bodies start to produce less essential female hormone’s, known as the menopause. This has major effects on their bodies from hot sweats, to lack of sexual desire. Also mood such as depression can affect libido. So there are many things that can affect how you feel. It may be worth you paying a visit to your doctor and having some test for Perimenopause, or talking about your feeling etc.

Unlike women, men can father children up to the day they die. Therefore their sex drive will be higher.  If you’re reluctant to go to see a doctor (which you may need to in time), why not try a date night once a fortnight or monthly. Take it slowly, enjoy your time together and don’t feel pressured into sex – either of you.

Ask D